there’s got to be more to life than this ..
I know there is, but it seems that I cant get out of this kind of lifestyle. If anything, it’s just a phase I’m going through.. but it’s one that I want out of asap.
I get asked how I can do it? How I can just sleep around and not care. I’m not expecting them to understand why I do it or how it came to be like this in the first place, its not like I care what they think but then I wonder .. and it’s on nights like these that make me really think, is this what I want?
I know it’s not, of course it’s not but then why do I do it when I can just put a stop to it by just saying no? I guess I’d rather have my whole world come crashing down while I have someone temporarily by my side then just being completely alone. It’s an ugly never ending circle, but I don’t think I can afford to be alone when I’m feeling as fucked up as this.
#end of depressing thoughts
Just thought things would be different this time around. I really didn’t want to lose, not this time .. But I did, and now I don’t know what to do
Why is it so hard being just “friends”?
I just want to fall in love you, even if it means that I’ll get my heart broken when it comes time for you to leave. Can I just spend the rest of our time together being in love with you? Please.
I will never be the same again, and it’s all because of you.
Downloaded a photo editing app on my smart phone called ‘lightbox’ I am now having a lot of fun photo whoring and editing haha sleep can wait x)
I’d rather blog and blurt out the things I’ve kept bottled up inside, rather than open up myself to my friends. Yeah sure I have d’n’m(s) with my friends, but sometimes I feel so much more comfortable opening myself up on tumblr. I don’t think its a bad thing, in a way this is my diary and cause not everyone knows who I am, there will always be a certain kind of mystery behind it because you don’t always know who I’m talking about … Mu cha cha cha >:{D
Ahhh I don’t know, I just don’t want someone to know me from inside and out .. it scares me. I don’t want to ever be that vulnerable, trusting someone with all my secrets, while secretly wishing for them to understand me and to not judge me. That shit scares me and I’m just not ready to let anyone close enough. I’ve been hurt enough, if I get hurt from doing something like this, then I wouldn’t know what to do and I know that it’s good to take a risk every now and again, but this is something that I’m not just willing to take a gamble on .. Well not yet anyway.
So I’m officially single .. First time in 3 years, its been a while. Now to rediscover the meaning of ‘me time’ this should be interesting … So i’m sworn off guys, I actually want to be and get shit crossed off my bucket list
Get a job Move to Southbank Get inked Get my P’s
‘Me time’ begins now!!
A rant about a certain someone who is a fucking idiot
Yeah I still like you and I miss you but when we were together, you continuously fucked me over .. So FUCK YOU. I’m not going to admit my feelings to you now, you have a great personality and all, but god you can be such an indecisive bitch, when it comes to things like this.
You’re so much better than this, why do you continue acting like this?! MELO-DRAMATIC BITCH .. Whos the one that said to not get to attached, you did! And now that I’m perfectly fine without you, you come back saying that you miss me and what we had .. Why are you doing this?!
Come on! It’s been 2 months, I’m not even that great! I’m a short flat surf board, go find some leggy, double-d blonde, I’m retarded .. Just leave me alone ): Why would you wait so long to admit it?! … WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TELL ME AGES AGO .. WHEN WE WERE ACTUALLY SEEING EACH OTHER?! YOU FUCKING IDIOT, YOU JUST COME AND COMPLICATE EVERYTHING SMH
